Finding Myself OMG: A Bullshit Quest

Well, where do I start? I'm struggling, I suppose, to find out who I am outside of who my parents want me to be, who my friends want me to be, or who my own perfectionist tendencies (totally personified) want me to be. I don't know if this blog will really document my progress in, ahem, coming of age, or if it will just basically be a place for me to vent and blab about nothing. We shall see.

Saturday, January 21, 2006

The Problems With Being a Woman and Other Thoughts on My Mind This Saturday Afternoon

Turns out that my stuffiness yesterday was just allergies, as usual. I feel fine in the nose and sinus area now, but then I woke up today with a horrible stomach ache and I could hardly pee and I felt like I was going to throw up all over the place. (Sorry for the TMI!) I was very confused because I stayed home last night like a good girl, playing with Cordy and watching Battlestar Galactica (frakking awesome show!) with my parents, so I wasn't hungover this time. With the peeing and the nausea and the stomach pains, I immediately jumped to the conclusion of OMG KIDNEY STONE, but soon discovered that my panic was unfounded because I just have my period. Should have looked at the calendar before worrying I needed to be rushed to the emergency room, I suppose.

But yes, it's that time of month. My little friend is here again. Seriously, who the fuck calls their period their "little friend?" I'm all like, "No, you're not my friend, when you do those cramps you're more like my fucking enemy, so could you please go away already? Thanks. Yes, I know I'll see you next month, same time, same place."

My mom always says that periods are proof that God is a man, and a vindictive one at that. If I remember correctly, the Catholic church says (or at least used to say, back in their old gung ho dogma days) that the period (along with the horror of birth) is God's punishment on all females for Eve tempting Adam into original sin, blah blah blah. Although wait, wasn't the virgin Mary giving birth to Jesus supposed to redeem us from Eve's curse? Because Mary was so pure and not like the rest of us evil womens and she saved us from ourselves? According to that logic (not that any of it is logical, as far as I can see), we should not be suffering painful periods and the ripping throes of birth any more. I don't know. Theology is confusing, yo.

I took a shower, but I still have to dry my hair. My head is getting cold. I can't bring myself to move, though, so I'm laying on my stomach on my bed writing this. I'm just achy and moody and depressed, but I am feeling rather creative, so maybe I can get some writing done. Or at least more posts full of witty goodness like this one. *eyeroll*

Oh, and it doesn't help matters that it's another beautiful day in Binghamton. Seriously, the city in which I live is so bleak. I think we're supposed to lead the nation in per capita cloudy days, or at least be right up there. We get a lot of snow, too, and rain, of course, but very little sun.

I miss the sun!

Le sigh. Must go dry my hair now. Really.

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