Finding Myself OMG: A Bullshit Quest

Well, where do I start? I'm struggling, I suppose, to find out who I am outside of who my parents want me to be, who my friends want me to be, or who my own perfectionist tendencies (totally personified) want me to be. I don't know if this blog will really document my progress in, ahem, coming of age, or if it will just basically be a place for me to vent and blab about nothing. We shall see.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Ewwww.

I feel like shit. Blaaargh. Seriously. I don't know if it's just my period or if I have some kind of bug on top of it. I haven't actually gotten my period yet, but I'm really tired but can't sleep, am throwing up all over the place, can barely pee although it feels like I have to pee all the time, have a headache the size of fucking Russia, cramps, diarrhea, and a fever of 100.

I'm dyyyyying. I had to call Leigh Ann and let her know I couldn't come in today. I feel wicked guilty even though I did about six hours yesterday, and some hours on Monday, too, which was supposed to be my day off. I didn't get home until like 11:30 because I had to give this other intern a ride over to campus, and I just collapsed on the couch. My mom had to shake me to get me to wake up, and then after that I couldn't get to sleep all night or this morning even though I'm exhausted.

I was supposed to give Barry (the other intern) a ride, today, too, but Leigh Ann said she'd email him for me and take care of it, that I should stay home and rest and drink ginger ale.


I've actually been sipping ginger ale all morning, pretty much, but the helpfulness comes and goes. I tried to eat some toast and that was an outright disaster.

I just hope that I'm better from this (if it's something on top of my period) and that my stupid period's over before Saturday, because I can't think of anything that would ruin my birthday party more. I never feel like partying or drinking when I have my period. I never feel like doing anything when I have my period.

Fuck. I think I have to go throw up now.



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