Finding Myself OMG: A Bullshit Quest

Well, where do I start? I'm struggling, I suppose, to find out who I am outside of who my parents want me to be, who my friends want me to be, or who my own perfectionist tendencies (totally personified) want me to be. I don't know if this blog will really document my progress in, ahem, coming of age, or if it will just basically be a place for me to vent and blab about nothing. We shall see.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

On Cross-Dressing, Memoirs, and Oprah: An Actual Conversation with Danelle

Hee, so I was talking to Danelle online, and this is a verbatim conversation. I find it brilliant. ;)

bookishpiglet: apparently there's this book that i want to read where this woman dressed like a man for like three months and had a prosthetic penis and found out what it was like to be a man... sounds fascinating

whoanelly144: wow, did people really think she was a man

bookishpiglet: i guess!
bookishpiglet: supposedly
bookishpiglet: i don't think it would work for me, i'm too short and curvy... maybe i could pretend to be a fat little boy

whoanelly144: i would have to look at picture before i bought it bought sounds very interesting

bookishpiglet: yeah lol

whoanelly144: i think, i would make a scary man impersonator
whoanelly144: then i would be freakishly lanky
whoanelly144: and creepy

bookishpiglet: even more freakishly lanky than you are as a woman
bookishpiglet: lol

whoanelly144: exactly

bookishpiglet: just kidding my love i adore your skinny ass
bookishpiglet: and i mean that in a non-lesbian way, of course ;-)

whoanelly144: hahahah

bookishpiglet: so yeah i think i'm going to masquerade as a 12-year-old fat boy and expose middle school life or something

whoanelly144: no. it's mot worth going to middle school

bookishpiglet: good point

whoanelly144: just lie and say you did

bookishpiglet: i'll make it up and then publish it as a memoir and oprah will choose it for her book club and then when the truth emerges she will disown me and slap me down on national tv

whoanelly144: hahahaha, but by that point the scandal will just make you more famous

bookishpiglet: i'll be the shiznit

whoanelly144: and you can write another book about your experience with oprah

bookishpiglet: i've got a title "Oprah and Me: The Story of a Friendship Gone Terribly, Terribly Wrong" or perhaps "Oprah: She's Not As Nice As You Think"

whoanelly144: yes!
whoanelly144: i would buy it!

bookishpiglet: lol who wouldn't?

Lol. Some background: The book I'm talking about at the beginning is Self-Made Man: A Journey into Manhood and Back by Norah Vincent. The author was on the Colbert Report last week.

And then, of course, we go off on the James Frey scandal. To quote my mom on that one: "If Oprah can be duped, who among us is safe?" (And just in case you're wondering, she was being sarcastic!)

I have to go take a shower now, and then I need to start writing my novel. My dad and I are having our own personal NaNoWriMo this month. 50,000 words, baby. It will be a bonding experience between us, as well, I suppose. Either that or I will end up murdering him. Mwahahaha.

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